Everyone who would come and visit Kosti, would see straight away that the society here is far from individualised. There is a very strong feeling of connectedness when it comes to families, roots and communities. Especially the members within a family (-and mind you, I mean the
extended family!-) have an important say in decision making. I have noticed that also the concept of 'visiting a friend' is something rather different here; his or her
whole family will be happy to receive you and join in the conversations and jokes! Among the staff here in the office, I have observed that this feeling of belongingness goes a step further than only family level. Whenever someone from the team is ill, the others try to organize a home-visit with the whole group. One of them admitted that maybe the large amount of people is not always the type of medicine that the patient is looking for when he is seriously ill, but apparently it is a ritual that can't be broken. That is also the case when a baby is born; all the women from the team go there together to offer milk, sweets, money and clothes. It sometimes seems complicated to organize a group visit, because everyone has a different schedule and responsibilities at home. While discussing when to visit one of the colleague's wife (who has recently given birth) it seemed almost impossible to find a day when we would all be available.
"Maybe we can go in different groups or shifts?" I suggested with a hint of my, perhaps Dutch, pragmatic approach. It became quiet all of a sudden and they looked at me like I had said something unbelievable.
"Here in Sudan, that would be really be not respectful." one of the women assured me with a comforting touch on my shoulder.
"Even if it takes some time to organise it", she continued,
"it is important to go there together!". It is surely
all for one, and one for
all!
